This week I'm going to
1. Why do women (not business women) feel the need to dress to the nines when traveling? They're not even riding in first class! Yet they're working those platform stilettos like they're a Beverly Hills housewife. Have you walked an airport lately? Those floors are a little slick, and I wear flats with rubber soles!! There is no way on this earth I would wear stilettos to walk down the terminal to my gate!
2. While we're on the topic of fashion, let's talk about going through security. We've all heard the horror stories of borderline molestation by the TSA agents. Honestly, I think those are worse-case-scenarios from when the new machines were first implemented. I have yet to see any person who is noticeably handicapped (in any way) receive the type of treatment these people are talking about. Anyway, if you pack and dress properly and follow the guidelines for the signs posted (and if you look online prior to your trip), security will not be a pain for you!
* First things first: you have to show your boarding pass AND photo ID pass to the agent before you get unload all your junk for the trip through the x-ray machines. That's what the first line is for. Please don't put it away only to have to dig it out later and hold the line up.
* Do not buy any type of drink (bottle, canned, glass, fountain, etc) prior to security (unless you plan to guzzle that puppy down or throw it away right away)! It is clearly stated no liquids over 3oz.
* COMPLETELY empty all items from pockets, guys. I mean EVERYTHING...keys, phone, wallet, cash, change, lint! And take that belt off while you're at it.
* Shoes come off. I highly recommend slip-ons of some sort. If you just have to wear those cute boots or lace-ups, please begin the removal process while waiting in line if you have enough hands. Otherwise you will hold up the line and you will piss someone off.
* Laptop comes out of the bag and out of the cushiony protector thingy. iPad comes out, too, sometimes (I almost got help up for mine so I've been taking it out all the time now).
* Liquids/Gels are the reason I always check a bag. I really don't know how they expect a woman to pack all the liquids/gels she needs to be presentable in a small quart-sized Ziploc bag! I know I can't do it! But if you can, make sure that comes out of the bag too...or you'll get held up.
3. With regards to checked luggage, I will never understand why it takes so long for my suitcase to go from the plane to the carousel in baggage claim! My home airport isn't that big and yet I wait longer for my luggage when I get home than when I arrive at Sacramento, Houston, or any other larger airport (with the exception of Atlanta because that place is like it's own city it's so big).
4. And when you're waiting for your luggage to ride the carousel of joy to you, please watch where you stand! I have had MANY people step in front of me and completely block my view with no regard to me or anyone else. I know you're luggage is important...but so is mine! So please keep that in mind. And have the decency to move the eff out of the way when I start slinging that heavy green thing off the ride. You will get hurt and I will not mourn the loss of your big toe, knee cap, thigh.
Well, that's all the pearls of wisdom I have to offer today.